Hey!

We need help with a plaguing problem that has perpetually perplexed us during out last two visits to St. Maarten/St. Martin and continues to do so.
During our stays at various upscale resorts we have used the toilet tissue supplied by the house and did not find it up to our standards or requirements.
After considerable discussion with some close friends and ourselves, we have decided to opt for a better brand than that supplied on future trips.

At home we choose a platinum label brand from Neiman- Marcus, which has served us well for untold years. Even after Michele’s horrendous hemorrhoid episode in 2008 we still use the NM best brand called Feathersoft Two.

It was a very lucky meeting with our close friends Georgie and Laura at a Dallas fundraiser that first turned us on to this brand, and we are forever grateful.
Oft times we have thought of packing a two week supply, but as you know, it would take two of our Louis Vuitton steamer trunks to transport that vast quantity to the airport and stow on the U.S. Airways 757. (Even though we fly First Class with our dear friends, we still have a luggage limit)

Please help with any options available. Last week at Grande Marche we tried a French six ply brand called Angelic. The sweetly scented rolls fit perfectly on the holders in all four tastefully decorated bathrooms at the resort, but after using it for only one day we found we were allergic to the tissue and were forced to stay at home and off the beach due to the intolerable itching we both experienced. ( We were literally WIPED OUT !)

At a very light gourmet low- fiber repast that evening at La Gauche Gourmanderie de la Case prepared by our good friends Pierre and Olaf, we planned for a remedy, and early the next day sent our driver Wolfgang ( a semi-retired surfer from a wonderful Germanic/Dutch family whom we have become so friendly with) to search the shops on both sides of the island.
Upon Wolfgang’s return we rushed to the gold Lexus SUV with the power XM satellite radio antenna and DVD player in the roof to assess his purchases.
Wolfgang had found 4 different brands meeting the basic 6 ply and softness standards we require. Before dispatching him, we asked him to try each brand and choose the ones he felt most comfortable with. ( I guess he’s not full of it any longer!)

NONE met our stringent standards though, and we are still perplexed as to what to do. If any of you know a brand that is as soft as a 450- count Egyptian cotton sheet, strong as a U.S. Priority Mail TYVEK envelope, and carries the essence of Chanel 5 (we always buy the 1- gallon bottle in Marigot from Monique Lalonde, our closest friend in that cosmetics store), let us know so we may purchase in quantity and become best friends with the owners.
We are planning a return trip starting next April Fool’s Day and would dearly love to have our tissue issue resolved before then…Please help!

Denis & Michele

This is soooo funny but so true that I'm not sure if it's an April Fool's joke or not.... LMAO!!!

[www.vrbo.com]

Life is not a child's game of follow the Leader. Instead, life is more about finding one's own purpose in life....your life's plan, and then making a positive difference on earth.

Hey!

Happy April Fool's....avoid the worms !

This was posted on TTOL a few years ago and I thought I'd air it out here rather than write another..getting lazy !

BARB...please DELETE after a coupla days if you would.

ENJOY !

Denis

I thought I remembered it from way back when...it was funny then, and it's still funny today! Thanks for the laugh.

[www.vrbo.com]

Life is not a child's game of follow the Leader. Instead, life is more about finding one's own purpose in life....your life's plan, and then making a positive difference on earth.

ROFL><

[barcann.livejournal.com]

Too, too funny! I especially love all the references to your dear friends on the island. However, you failed to tell the readers to be sure to tell them you said "hi", even though they probably don't remember you ten minutes after you leave their establishment!!

even though they probably don't remember you ten minutes after you leave their establishment!!

Now, ain't that the truth!

There are maybe one or 2 people that I have ever met on the island that could truly consider us memorable acquaintenances (I won't even say friends) and so your comment is just too funny!

Now, next year I should put together a short April 1st trip report that only discusses the total lack of WiFi on the island that RUINED my "vacation" and with the horrible stress of no WiFi, my hemmoroids just rebeled, leaving me no comfort, no matter what toilet paper we used...Not to mention the really cheap price I paid for my room but was not given 5 Star accommodations... how dare they!

Ahhh...I do love sarcasm when written at the appropriate time.... don't you think it is just so becoming?

[www.vrbo.com]

Life is not a child's game of follow the Leader. Instead, life is more about finding one's own purpose in life....your life's plan, and then making a positive difference on earth.

what is really funny is it almost sounds like a true report that ed and sandra would send (except they request specific color limos)

Actually, I find sarcasm somewhat refreshing sometimes! The WiFi report was certainly enlightening, to say the least

Hey Den......Can you spare a square????